Leaving and Cleaving

Leaving and Cleaving

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh (Gen 2:25 KJV).

It seems one or two were prompted by the article on First Love to be honest and to ask the question: “How do I get back to having the Lord as my first love”. The problem in trying to answer this question is that there is no short-cut or easy three-step plan. But for those who are really serious about their relationship with the Lord; here are some pointers.

One of the conditions for a good marriage is that the partners have to “leave and cleave”. (I like the King James on this verse, not only because it rhymes, but because the word cleave seems to express a vital truth.) No marriage can work while one partner still clings to their parents or anyone else outside the marriage. It has to be an all-or-nothing commitment. In the traditional wedding vows, we speak about “forsaking all others”. Unfortunately many marriage partners are still attached to parents, old loves, movie stars or some fantasy. Thus they find themselves constantly pulled between their spouse and the others. This tug-of-war between two, or more, loves results in everyone being short-changed and unhappy. When making the commitment in marriage there needs to be a complete and total renouncing of all outside affiliations, flirtations and infatuations.

So, in order to become one with Jesus, we need to actively break all ties with those things that distract from our relationship with Him. This is why our Lord told the rich young ruler to “Sell all that you have and… come, follow Me” (Luke 18:22). Jesus speaks about those who try to serve two masters and loving one and hating the other. There is just no way we can juggle a relationship with Jesus and with other things at the same time. One of the reasons for this is that because he is invisible and the other things are invariably tangible and those things that are visible will very quickly displace Him who is Invisible.

Does that really mean I have to sell my things, or turn my back on my friends, or quit my job, or stop ministering? Yes, it may well come to that! All these things are valid, as long as we can keep them in their right priority. However, when they begin to supplant the Lord as our first love, they have to go, unless we can bring our affections for them under control. Some people are able to have many possessions, great ministries, a fulfilling career, or many friends without compromising their love for the Master. But others get so sucked into these peripheral things that the only way to restore Jesus to the number one position is to get rid of whatever has replaced Him. Yes, you may have to give up your hobby, your job or even your house! The very fact that you are reacting to this suggestion with disbelief and incredulity proves the hold these things have on you!

Now, let me ask you this question. Are you really willing to walk away from everything – including your spouse and family, in order to have nothing else but Jesus? (This is no excuse for those who are disgruntled with their marriages, jobs etc to walk out on them.) Don’t be so quick to answer. Take some time. What if Jesus said to you, like He did to that young lawyer: “Sell everything you have, give up your career, turn your back on your family and follow me wherever I choose to lead you”? My guess is that less than 1% of Christians would be willing to do that. So what does it say about where Jesus is on our hit parade? That’s right. Jesus is just an appendage which we add to our already full lives and He has to accept the crumbs of our affections, time, energy and resources!

Not everyone will be called to make this ultimate commitment, but unless you are willing to loose all, in order to cling to Him and Him alone, He is not and cannot be, your first love. So what is it going to be? Everything else or Jesus? You cannot have both. Now I know some will respond by saying that it is unfair for the Lord to expect so much! Is it? Did he not forsake all, even giving up His last breath and last drop of blood for you? Is He worthy of any less from you? If he gave His all for us, how dare we respond to such great love by giving Him the dregs of our affections?

Oh, but I can’t afford to loose everything I have worked so hard for, I hear some say. My response is, can you afford not to? “For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul.” (Mark 8:36,37). You simply cannot have a good marriage and a mistress, and you cannot have your cake and eat it, and you cannot serve God and self. No wonder so many are miserable and frustrated in their walk. When they are in church, they can’t wait for the service to end so they can get back to their own things, and yet those trivial pursuits leave them empty and unfulfilled.

My dear friend please resolve to leave all and to cling to Jesus and to Him alone! Let your prayer be that of Fanny Crosby:

Take the world, but give me Jesus,
All its joys are but a name;
But His love abideth ever,
Through eternal years the same.

There are not many things that can be guaranteed, but of this I am sure: Everything else will disappoint, but Jesus is the only one who will truly satisfy our every longing, fulfill our every dream and surpass our highest expectations. Stop chasing the wind, give up the fight and surrender to Jesus – today.

Jesus only, let me see,
Jesus only, none save He,
Then my song shall ever be—
Jesus! Jesus only! (Oswald J Smith)

Anton Bosch

antonbosch@sbcglobal.net

3310 W Magnolia Blvd

Burbank, CA, 91505

Tel 818 846 5520