We Need Approval

We Need Approval

Every single one of us craves approval. We all want to be recognized, accepted and respected and it is so much part of our very fabric, that we assume that this hunger for approval by others is an acceptable quality amongst Christians. This drive begins to find an expression in babies as they vie for attention from anyone within reach. As they grow older they learn very quickly that they can get this attention by crying, acting cute or even by being naughty. As we grow older this hunger for approval often leads to all sorts of trouble. Young girls sacrifice their virginity for the sake of acceptance only to find that they loose the very thing they were hoping to gain while young men get into gangs and all sorts of trouble trying to gain the respect of their friends. Millions of dollars are wasted as perfectly good clothes are replaced with ones that will make us look just like everyone else just so we won’t stand out.

But in all our search for acceptance we forget that it matters where we get that approval from. It is better to have the approval of godly parents than of worldly friends and it is better to be accepted by the Lord than by the world. Unfortunately some don’t mind who does the affirming, as long as we can get it. The reason we seem to be hard-wired with this need of approval is because we were created to be in fellowship with God and to be accepted by Him. When sin broke that relationship, man had to find something else to fill the need that came out of the realization that God disapproves of our sin. However, this need can only be fulfilled by the Lord and until we turn to Him and realize that “He has made us accepted in the Beloved” (Ephesians 1:6), when He took our sin on the cross, we will continue to crave acceptance.

Once we turn to Christ the problems do not end as we continue to seek the approval of men, rather than of the Lord. And it is in the church that our ego and hunger for approval often does the most damage. Only those who have found in Christ their complete fulfillment can be free from the dangers of the praises and criticism of men. Off course very few of us do not feel the hurt of rejection or the warmth of respect but it is when these things become our motivating force that we end in serious trouble.

As we become actors before people in order to gain their approval, we begin to play the hypocrite. Just like the toddler who acts all cute to attract the attention of the adults, folk act all clever and spiritual in order to be accepted by others in the church. The Pharisees were very good at this: “But all their works they do to be seen by men. They make their phylacteries broad and enlarge the borders of their garments. They love the best places at feasts, the best seats in the synagogues, greetings in the marketplaces, and to be called by men, `Rabbi, Rabbi.'” (Matthew 23:5-7).

Over the years I have grown to pity those whose whole demeanor, speech and act changes depending on their audience. Just like the Pharisees, their spirituality is simply an outward show to impress people. They pray long prayers, preach fancy sermons, promote themselves and give elaborate testimonies to show how “spiritual” they are and to hear people say how wonderful they are. This is all very sad because anyone with even a little discernment can see right through the act and know it is a pathetic effort to cover the spiritual emptiness and sense of failure deep inside.

You see, those who have discovered the deep joy and peace that comes from a right relationship with the Lord and who are satisfied by His smile on their lives, don’t need to act to get the approval of people. They are content and secure in their relationship with Him and know that “not he who commends himself is approved, but whom the Lord commends.” (2Cor 10:8). Unfortunately some are so insecure in their relationship with the Lord that they will do anything to gain popularity with people – even compromise the truth!

Many are afraid to take a stand for truth because they are more concerned with the praises of men than the approval of God. We all remember Peter who three times denied the Lord Jesus and that within earshot of his Master. When Jesus turned to look at Peter he wept bitterly because he realized that he had sided against One whose approval mattered more than that of the unbelievers. Probably one of the most pathetic sights I ever had the misfortune to witness was a man who once preached the Gospel without apology open a city council meeting with prayer. What is so wrong with that? The problem was that the prayer had to be “non-sectarian” and so this man was willing to forgo the use of the name of Jesus just to have the recognition of man. My heart broke as I realized that he was not forced to do this but that he sought out the opportunity to pray “on the street corner” to be seen by men.

How far will you go to gain the acceptance and approval of people? What will you sell and how much will you compromise? Before you reply, remember that the very night Peter denied the Lord he said “though all men shall be offended because of thee, yet will I never be offended” (Matthew 26:33)

How much will you step on others to promote yourself and how often will you speak and do things in the flesh just so you can show off your gifts and abilities? John writes concerning “Diotrephes, who loves to have the preeminence” (1John 1:9). This man was willing to sacrifice the good of the church and rob the church of the ministry of others just so he could be the focus of attention.

Consider how different Paul’s attitude is: “To me, who am less than the least of all the saints, this grace was given, that I should preach among the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ” (Ephesians 3:8). “We make it our aim, whether present or absent, to be well pleasing to Him. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ” 2Corinthians 5:10)

Do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10). It is that simple: When we seek the approval of people, we become enslaved to them and their opinions and that should never be because we belong to Him who bought us with a terrible price. Let’s determine to find all our needs met in Christ and so be freed of the approval and the fear of man.

Anton Bosch

anton@ifcb.net

3310 W Magnolia Blvd

Burbank, CA, 91505

Tel 818 846 5520